Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Now that the dust has settled....

Now that the dust has settled a bit after Prop 8 passing, I feel like I can say something. Or rather, I feel like I have something to say. I was shocked that it passed. And the few times I went to write on here, I couldn't get anything out. It just felt weird to talk about my engagement in the face of all this hate and craziness that just happened.

Now, that said, while I feel very confused by the whole thing, the sky hasn't fallen down. I'm still here. I still love my man. And I still plan on getting married.

Those first few days after it passed were hard though.

It felt like that in the face of this amazing change of government, the LGBT community got left behind. And there was nothing we could do. Of course the public outcry across the country was truly awe inspiring, and brought us closer together, but it was too little too late. And we will have to wait until the next election year for anything to happen.

But this time has been harder for me because Kelby has not been with me. I may have mentioned before, but if I didn't, Kelby is an actor and I'm a piano player/music director for theatre. Kelby recently booked a national tour (yay!), and left at the beginning of this month before the election (sad!). Luckily his contract is short, and he's only needed through the end of Decemember. Just in time to fly home together and see the family. But we won't really have any alone time together until the new year.

But we talk all the time and text even more. We send each other links about interesting articles, sites, or crazy photos we find (basically, the stuff we would have just told each other over dinner.) We chat online... all the things long distant couples do I guess.

This month been hard, but it's not the first time we've been apart. Last year, towards the end of winter and through spring, we both had jobs that took us out of the city. He was on a tour that took him all over the midwest and east coast, and I got a job music directing in Indiana. We were extremely lucky that our contracts took us out of town for basically the same amount of time. And we were both so busy that, while we missed each other, we had things to busy our time.

Don't get me wrong, I am nothing more than estatic for Kelby getting this job, I am more sad I'm here in New York doing nothing. While I have a couple small gigs playing piano for various things, they are not full time, and I spend my time at my day job. He'll be back soon enough though to brighten my day and give me someone to nag at because the garbage hasn't been taken out. (I can't nag myself when I don't take it out.)

Even though our plans for a government recognized marriage may be up in the air, the plans we have for committing to each other are still there. And no amount of separation or vote can take that away.

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