Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Proposal

I'm only 24. Which I consider still young, yet old enough to be an adult. I sure don't feel like an adult, but as the days and months seem to fly by, I slowly pick up evidence of the fact that I am indeed, well on to my way of becoming an adult.

Friends and cousins are getting married, others are having babies, and unfortunately relatives and older people I know are passing on. It's life. It's what happens. But its very different when it starts to happen to you.

I've had one close friend get married and two are currently engaged and planning to get married in the next year. So I am undeniably at that new frontier in my life where as mid-twenty-somethings, that's what we do.

Except I'm gay.

Not that being gay is bad. Things are certainly easier today, and have changed drastically during my 24 years on Earth. But when it comes to these traditional white-picket-American-Dream style things (marriage, 2.5 kids, etc.) I'm conflicted.I want all those things, but by my very nature, I'm not "traditional." 

Imagine my surprise when my boyfriend, whom I live with and have been together for over 4 years, did the most traditional thing a man could do. He proposed to me last week.

I replied an immediate yes and so happy. I am completly in love with him. And the proposal wasn't a complete surprise. It was something we have seriously talked about. But I was so over the moon that I didn't really have time to think... until now.

Do not get me wrong. I love him and want nothing more then to spend the rest of my life with him. But growing up, getting married wasn't really an option for me. Gay marriage is new. So as a kid, I didn't fantizise about my big fat gay wedding I was going to have. And now as it's becoming an reality thoughts are running through my head... Do I wear white? Does he? What about wedding parties, do we both have best men? and a million others...

Anyone who has seen an episode of Bridezilla knows that getting engaged and planning a wedding is hard, but I think doing all that and being gay I'm realizing is even harder.


It's A Jaime Thing said...

Hello! Thanks for the sweet comment on my's great to meet you. :) I just read the blog you've started & can't wait to read more.

Congratulations on your engagement, you must be so excited! Gay or not, you're in love and love rocks - I always tell people, "I love love - I highly recommend it to everyone!", lol.

Anyhow, I noticed you mentioned your concerns for planning a gay wedding & wanted to let you know there are some great resources out there - including my favorite one, I can imagine how overwhelmed you might feel - planning a wedding is never easy no matter if you're gay or straight. I remember my husband & I took 2 1/2 years to plan (granted, it was also the time we needed to save money for our wedding, as we were paying for it ourselves)...there's so much to do!

Anyhow, I'm sorry I'm babbling...but I just wanted to send my congrats and let you know if you need any help or advice, I'd be happy to do research or help find stuff for you! :)

All the best & blessings for a long, happy & healthy life together - cheers!

Jaime @ "It's A Jaime Thing"

It's A Jaime Thing said...

P.S. Welcome to the wedding blogging community - I think you'll find it very friendly & helpful. ;) I'm adding you to my blog roll!

Adam said...

Thank you Jaime!!

You're kind of amazing!!

Luis said...

The thing to remember is that there is no "way" a gay wedding has to be. None of the rules or traditions have been written for us yet, and for that I'm grateful.

You don't have to do anything a certain way, it just has to be right for the two of you, and whether that means more tradition or less, is entirely up to you.