As a prospective bride-groom, everything in my world is now seen through the tint of marriage. I can't help it! It's on my mind... at least at the moment. I go through these phases where everything seems to relate directly to me and my upcoming nuptials, then a phase where nothing seems to relate to me and it's a little overwhelming.
If this seems self centered... well... it is.
I wish I could stop it but for right now, I can't. So imagine my shock and utter surprise when I log on to myspace (which I hardly do anymore) only to be greeted by photos of an acquaintance who lives in California's... wait for it... photos of his GAY WEDDING!
I didn't know what to say. A million things ran though my head. Shock. Happiness. Awe. Envy. "Glad to see him settle down," "His husband is cute!" "Oh my gosh, did they really choose that as their bridesmaids dresses?"
Basically, I was at once happy for him and angry as all hell.
Of course, I wish him and his new husband the best. (We're not real friend friends by any means. We went to college together and have not really stayed in touch at all, hence I didn't know he was married until myspace told me.)
But it also deeply troubled me that someone else I knew was gay married before me. I have a few friends who are married or who are going to get married in the upcoming year but they are straight, and although the prospect of being something of a "trailblazer" in my circle of friends was daunting, I was excited.
Now that was taken away from me.
Am I being unreasonable? Of course. But I'm also just saying what I feel. I wish I was the first young person I know to get gay married.
But we do need to stick together after all. There are so few young gay couples out there tying the knot, so I will definitely try to choose the high road and get over myself and befriend them.
(Emphasis on "try".)